Valentine's Day is coming soon, signaling a romantic milestone for many couples. But for some new pairs, the worry that your relationship is moving too fast or too slow can become a major concern. Which got us wondering: When is the best time to start being sexually intimate in a relationship, according to science? The answer is complicated, spanning anywhere from a few dates to a few months after you start to spending time together. One of the reasons it's hard to determine the best time in a relationship to have sex is because there hasn't been a lot of research tackling that specific question. Few studies have looked at the health of a relationship as it relates to when couples first had sex, and the research that has been done mostly features specific samples of people — mainly college students or married heterosexual couples.
Many people today are involved in purely sexual relationships with others. And whether you have a friends with benefits type of connection, are someone who partakes in one-night stands or you simply enjoy hooking up without any type of commitment, there are many different ways to engage in a strictly physical connection with another person. However, you may find yourself wondering if serious relationships can start with casual sex and how to make your informal fling more official. In other words, many people want to know that a fulfilling sexual connection is present before deciding to pursue something more serious and long-term. For instance, you may find that after being sexually intimate with someone, you can end up talking for hours and really get to know this person in a new kind of way. And once you create this type of an emotional bond in addition to your physical one, a committed relationship can often be the next step.
If a couple has a great sex life but other aspects of the relationship are lacking, it probably won't last. If you are concerned that your relationship is based on sex-only, you will want to look at your relationship honestly and objectively. Learn to recognize the signs that indicate whether a relationship is based more on lust than love. People are attracted to one another for various reasons and not all relationships are based on love.
Having some sexual chemistry and spark is essential for any relationship, but it's important to not forget the whole love and respect part of it, too. If you and your partner only have one commonality the bedroom , it might be a sign your relationship is too dependent on sex and could use a few extra points on the romantic end. So, if you're always darting for the bed upon meeting, it might prevent you from getting to know your partner on a deeper level, to really see whether there's a true connection there. As a certified health coach , I work with clients on improving their relationships and feeling more fulfilled, accepted, and energized by those around them.